I was married to one, and I didn’t realize until recently that he is the perfect example of a narcissist. During my marriage I have totally changed as a person, and life felt like walking on eggshells. I was constantly scared of how he would react to things or if all of a sudden he is in a bad mood and would start to yell around slamming doors in the middle of the night.

Of course, there are also some good moments in a relationship with a narcissist but also as many sleepless nights and days spent living in fear, never knowing when to expect an aggressive outburst. He destroyed most of my belongings when he found out I was thinking of leaving him. 

To this day many of our mutual friends and family don’t believe or understand when I tell them about the abuse, only the few that witnessed it. I don’t think you can really explain narcissistic abuse to people, and they can’t understand it fully unless they have experienced it themselves.

Mental abuse is equally bad as physical abuse. The first step is to realize that you’re in a relationship with a narcissist. Also, keep in mind that they will most likely never change, and they are not capable of love.

A narcissist will never let you go. As soon as he sees you’re trying to get away he will start a smear campaign. Even after you leave he'll contact anyone you know and tell them bad things about you. He wants to get you emotional and make everyone believe that they are the victim. You can’t talk to him and tell him you’re leaving or expect to remain friends. If you want to leave a narcissist, my advice is: Don’t say anything just run.

• It's your Fault 

What a narcissist does is: He blames you for everything that he does wrong. He twists the words around; at the end of the conversation you start to doubt yourself and think: Maybe it was all my fault. No, it’s not your fault. Always, remember that.

• Reactive Abuse  

They provoke you, love to see your reaction, enjoy to see you mad and unhappy. Don’t give them a reaction because then you become the abuser and they the victim, that is exactly what they want.

• Plays the Victim 

Behaves differently in private than in public. People  think they are perfect and can’t imagine what they are like behind closed doors.

Always play the victim, and everybody  believes them. It looks like it’s always your fault.

• Pathological Liar

Lies even about the smallest and unnecessary things. Will never admit anything. When you confront them, they get aggressive and start making you look crazy.

• Mood Swings and Rage

When things don’t go their way, they start to threaten you and even get physical. Of course, you get blamed again, and later they act like nothing happened. 

• Gaslighting 

Make you feel insecure, doubt your feelings and your memory. It comes to the point where you ask yourself if a situation even happened or if you imagined it. They convince you that you cause their aggression.

• Bullying

Tell you you’re nothing without them, and no one will love you like they do. Verbal abuse.

• Sense of Entitlement  

Think you owe them everything and very highly of themselves . Often destroy your belongings. Jealous.

Slowly isolates you from your family and friends. Doesn’t want you to have contact with people. Gets mad if you pay anyone attention. Doesn't want you to work or to educate yourself any further. Destroy and undermine your dreams.

• Lack of Feelings

No feelings or empathy for others. No interest for people or you in general. Narcissist see everyone as objects. They don't feel remorse or guilt for their actions and only need people who they can benefit from.